are you afraid of getting stuck in english?
你害怕被英语卡住吗？
would you like to learn some strategies and tips on how to overcome situations where you get stuck or feel frustrated because you can't express yourself?
你是否愿意学习一些策略和技巧来应对表达时的卡住或沮丧？
if the answer is yes, then this video is for you.
如果答案是肯定的，那么这个**就是给你的。
hi, my name is hadar.
嗨，我是哈达尔。
i'm a non-native speaker of english, and i am here to help you speak english with clarity, confidence, and freedom.
我的母语不是英语，我在这里帮助您清晰、自信、自由地说英语。
the idea for this video came about after i went live on instagram and i asked my followers, what was their biggest fear when it comes to communicating in english.
制作这个的灵感来自于我问我的追随者，当我在Instagram上直播时，他们最大的恐惧是什么。
and 80 percent of the people responded 'getting stuck when speaking'.
80%的人回答“说话时卡住了”。
for some people, they actually use the words 'getting stuck', others just said 'not finding the right words'.
对于一些人来说，他们实际上使用“卡住”这个词，而另一些人只是说“找不到正确的词”。
and ultimately that fear of not being able to say what you want to say, and that crippling feeling of silence that triggers a lot of people and makes them feel so afraid to communicate.
最终，这种无法表达自己想法的恐惧，以及对沉默的抑制，引发了许多人，使他们害怕交流。
so, in this video, i'm going to talk about why this is so scary, so we can understand the way we think and maybe overcome this fear, not by improving our english, but simply by improving the way we think about it.
所以在这篇**中，我将谈谈为什么这如此可怕，以便我们能够理解我们的思维方式，也许能够克服这种恐惧，不是通过提高我们的英语，而是通过改善我们的思维方式。
but then i'm going to give you some strategies on how to come out of a situation where you get stuck: what words to use, what phrases to say, and some strategies on how to start over so you can actually say what you want to say confidently.
然后我会给你一些关于如何摆脱困境的策略：使用什么词，说什么短语，以及一些重新开始的策略，这样你就可以自信地表达你想说的话。
now, i know that when you want to say something and your brain goes blank, it is really scary.
我知道当你想说些什么而你的大脑一片空白时，这真的很可怕。
i remember once when i was in acting school, i had a show and i was singing in front of everyone.
我记得有一次我在表演学校的时候，我有一个节目，我要在大家面前唱歌。
and this was a song from a musical that i absolutely loved.
这是我非常喜欢的**剧中的一首歌。
and i practiced it a lot, and of course i knew all the words by heart.
我练习了很多，甚至记住了所有的单词。
but then when i stood in front of everyone, i sang the first verse and then i got to the verse that i loved the most, like it was so profound to me, and i forgot all the words.
但是当我站在大家面前时，我唱了第一句歌词，然后它来到了我最喜欢的歌词，好像它对我来说太深了，结果我忘记了所有的歌词。
and the music kept playing.
*一直以来**。
and my teacher, who was accompanying me, and she was playing the piano, she started singing for me, but i was already so stressed out that it didn't help.
和我一起弹钢琴的老师开始为我唱歌，但我已经承受了很大的压力，也无济于事。
i don't even remember how i came out of this entire situation, i just remember staring at people, singing a few more words, and then le**ing the stage without looking at anyone.
我什至不记得我是如何摆脱这整个情况的，我只记得盯着人们，多唱了几句，然后不看任何人就离开了舞台。
and i was so upset.
我很沮丧。 and that's not the only time it actually happened to me.
这不是我唯一一次遇到这种情况。
and it also happened to me in lives and in conversations.
这也发生在我的生活和谈话中。
so i know how it feels.
所以我知道那是什么感觉。
but, i also want you to know that it's a natural part of speaking a second language.
但是，我也想让你知道，说第二语言是很自然的。
it's a natural part of speaking any language, your first language as well.
这是说任何语言的自然组成部分，您的母语也是如此。
you might black out at any given moment if you lose your train of thought, or if you're overwhelmed, or if you're not focused, especially when it's not your first language.
如果你徘徊、感到不知所措或难以集中注意力，尤其是当它不是你的第一语言时，你随时可能会失去思路。
so don't feel bad when it happens.
所以当它发生时不要感到难过。
understand that it's a natural part of the language, and the more you practice, the more you speak, the less it will happen.
要明白，这是语言的自然组成部分，你练习得越多，说得越多，它发生的就越少。
but let's talk about why it triggers you so much, why it is so frightening.
但是，让我们谈谈为什么它如此触动你，为什么它如此可怕。
first, because it's really frustrating to want to say something and not being able to say it, right?
首先，想说点什么却说不出来真的很令人沮丧，对吧？
it's like, we are creatures who like to communicate, and if we want to say something and we can't, we feel limited, we feel like we don't h**e the tools that we h**e in our first language, and it's really, really frustrating.
我们是善于交际的生物，如果我们想说些什么而不能说，我们会感到局限，觉得我们的第一语言工具已经不复存在了，这真的非常非常令人沮丧。
and sometimes it can create anger and sadness even.
有时它甚至会引起愤怒和悲伤。
so, wanting to say something and not h**ing the tools to say it could be really, really frustrating.
因此，在没有工具的情况下试图表达一些东西可能会非常令人沮丧。
so that's the first thing.
这是第一点。
the second thing is that sometimes if we get stuck, we start thinking about what people think about us, right?
第二件事是，有时如果我们被困住了，我们就会开始思考人们对我们的看法，对吧？
what is their opinion about us and our english?
他们对我们和我们的英语有什么看法？
and we get into the loop of not feeling good enough: "oh, they're thinking that i don't know english.
我们陷入了一种感觉很糟糕的循环：“哦，他们认为我不懂英语。
they're thinking that i can't communicate." and that creates more stress and anxiety because it really focuses on this fear that most of us experience of not being good enough, right, or being judged.
他们以为我无法沟通。 "这可能会导致更多的压力和焦虑，因为我们大多数人都经历过这种被评判的恐惧。
and we don't want to experience that because that triggers shame and humiliation, which are two emotions that us humans try to **oid as much as humanly possible.
我们不想经历这种情况，因为它会引发羞耻和羞辱，这是我们人类尽可能避免的两种情绪。
we don't want to experience that.
我们不想经历这些。
therefore, we don't want to get stuck because we know that it might trigger these feelings.
所以我们不想陷入困境，因为我们知道这可能会引发这些感觉。
even though again, it is perfectly okay to get stuck.
即便如此，在言语中被“卡住”也是完全可以的。
and usually, people won't even think bad things about you because you get stuck, they might not even notice it.
通常，人们甚至不会因为你被困住而对你有不好的看法，他们甚至可能没有注意到。
now, the third fear, and this is not a common fear, and i want you to think about it and to see maybe it actually hits home, is we don't wanna waste people's time.
第三種恐懼，不是一種常見的恐懼，我希望你們想一想，看看它是否真的打動了你的心，那就是我們不想浪費別人的时间。
especially when we speak to people whom we need something from, if we get stuck, we feel like we're wasting their time.
尤其是当我们与需要帮助的人交谈时，如果我们陷入困境，我们会觉得自己在浪费他们的时间。
we say to ourselves things like, "oh, they're going to get impatient.
我们对自己说，“他们会变得不耐烦的。
they're not going to want to talk to me.
他们不想和我说话。
you know, it's not fair for them that they need to wait for me." and i understand that it's coming from a place of wanting the other person to feel good, but it's not helping you, right?
你知道，让他们等我对他们来说是不公平的。 “我知道你这么说是为了让对方感觉良好，但这对你没有帮助，对吧？
so feeling like you're wasting someone's time can immediately impact how you perform in english, and that fear could create a bigger fear around getting stuck.
因此，感觉自己在浪费别人的时间会立即影响你的英语成绩，而这种恐惧会导致更大的恐惧感，让你陷入困境。
and i want to tell you that if this is a thought that you're thinking, a hundred percent that it's compromising your ability to communicate freely and confidently.
我想告诉你，如果这是你的想法之一，它将 100% 影响你自由自信地沟通的能力。
all the things i talked about right now are limiting beliefs, beliefs that limit your full potential, limit your ability to communicate confidently and fluently.
我刚才谈到的所有事情都是限制性的信念，这些信念限制了你的全部潜力和你自信和流利地沟通的能力。
and the good thing about a limiting belief is that it's a thought, and you can change thoughts, it's not a fact, it's not a reality.
限制信念的好处是，它只是一个思想，你可以改变思想，这不是事实，也不是现实。
the tricky thing about limiting beliefs is that you think it's just you just interpreting the world around you.
限制信仰的棘手部分是你对周围世界的解释。
this is your reality.
这就是你的现实。
oh, i'm wasting someone's time." but it's not a fact, it's a belief.
哦，我在浪费别人的时间。 “但这不是事实，这是你的想法。
and as such, you can decide not to think it anymore.
因此，您可以决定不再考虑它。
you can change it to "people want to hear what i h**e to say. they are patient with me.
你可以把它改成“人们想听我说的话，他们对我有耐心。
they appreciate my attempt to communicate with them" – instead of, "i'm wasting their time, they're going to think i'm stupid, they're going to think i don't know how to speak in english." okay?
他们感谢我试图与他们交流“——而不是”我在浪费他们的时间，他们会认为我很愚蠢，他们会认为我不会说英语。 "好吧？
so, try to understand which one of the three things that i've listed are things that you are thinking that make this fear of getting stuck a lot bigger than it should be.
所以，试着了解我列出的三件事中的哪一件事是你正在考虑的事情，这样这种对被卡住的恐惧就比它应该的要大得多。
and of course, if you can come up with other limiting thoughts, then write them in the comments below and share them with us.
当然，如果您能想出其他限制性的想法，请将它们写在下面的评论中并与我们分享。
okay.好吧？
so now that we talked about the reasons why this is such a big fear, let's talk about what to do when you get stuck.
现在我们已经讨论了为什么这如此可怕，让我们谈谈当你被卡住时该怎么做。
when you get stuck, the first thing that you need to do is remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.
当你陷入困境时，你需要做的第一件事就是提醒自己，你正在尽力而为。
the more you get stressed out in a situation, the less likely you are to come out smoothly from this situation.
在压力大的情况下，压力越大，你就越不可能顺利摆脱困境。
remind yourself that this is not your speech at the oscars, or this is not your biggest interview, and it's okay to get stuck.
提醒自己，这不是你在奥斯卡颁奖典礼上的演讲，也不是你最重要的采访，卡住也没关系。
give yourself permission to get stuck, because when you are not stressed, when your blood pressure is lower, you're more likely to come up with a next word.
允许自己让自己陷入困境，因为当你不感到紧张时，当你的血压低时，你更有可能想到下一个词。
you're more likely to continue, as if nothing happened.
你更有可能继续，就好像什么都没发生过一样。
but when you get stressed out, you start thinking about it: "oh, i'm stuck.
但是当你压力过大时，你就会开始想，“哦，我被困住了。
oh, they're going to think this, they're going to think that." and then your brain is so busy with the event of being stuck, then with what you actually want to say, right?
他们会这么想，他们会这么想。 "然后你的大脑被卡住的事件所占据，而不是你真正想要表达的东西，对吧？
what is the word that i'm looking for?
我在找什么词？
so, take a deep breath, remind yourself it's okay to get stuck, and continue.
所以，深吸一口气，提醒自己被卡住是可以的，然后继续前进。
and then, what i recommend for you to do is this: first, you can just acknowledge it by saying, "oh, i lost my train of thought", or "i think i'm confusing this, let me start over", or "let me rephrase it".
然后，我建议你这样做：首先，你可以承认这一点，说“我分心了”，或者“我想我很困惑，让我重新开始”，或者“让我重新表述一下”。
and then you want to start over from the beginning of the idea or the beginning of the sentence.
然后你想从想法的开头或句子的开头重新开始。
your brain will find a way to bypass the part where you got stuck and get to the end of the idea.
你的大脑会找到一种方法来绕过你陷入的部分，到达思想的尽头。
remember that you h**e a lot of words to use.
请记住，您有很多单词可以使用。
don't focus on that one word you can't remember and feel like, "oh, now i won't be able to say this".
不要把注意力集中在那个你不记得的词上，然后觉得“我现在不能说这个”。
you can find a word that is similar, you can find an entire sentence that explains it differently.
你可以找到一个相似的词，你可以找到一个不同的句子来解释它。
you know how many times in the middle of a live or a video that i'm recording, i can't find a certain word that i'm thinking about or that i want to say, and then i end up saying something slightly differently.
你知道有多少次，当我在直播或录制**时，当我找不到我想说的某个词时，最后说了一些稍微不同的话。
sometimes it's not as good as it could be.
有时它不能按预期工作。
sometimes it actually takes me to a better place.
有时我表达得更好。
so you never know, you just h**e to go with the flow.
所以你永远不知道，你只需要顺其自然。
just like you're going on a tour and sometimes you want to make a right, and sometimes you will make a left, you'll end up getting to the same destination.
这就像你要去旅行一样，有时你想右转，有时你想左转，你最终会到达同一个目的地。
but if you find yourself on this path where you h**e two roads and you don't know what to do, if you just stay there and get stuck, nothing good is going to come out of it, you're not going to get to your destination.
但是，如果你发现自己在这条路上有两个岔路口，不知道该怎么办，如果你停在那里被卡住，就不会有好的结果，你也不会到达目的地。
so just find another way.
让我们找到另一种方法。
and one of the best ways to do that is to start over.
最好的方法之一是重新开始。
if you can't think of a specific word, let go.
如果你想不出一个具体的词，就放手吧。
practice letting go of a thought or an idea or an entire sentence, and either start over, use a different word, or just say something completely different.
练习放弃一个想法、观点或整个句子，要么重新开始，要么使用不同的词，要么说完全不同的话。
it's going to make things a lot lighter and also make you feel a lot more confident when speaking.
它会让事情变得容易得多，也会让你在说话时感到更加自信。
and the most important thing, don't try to hide it.
最重要的是，不要试图隐藏它。
you speak english as a second language.
您将英语作为第二语言。
you are entitled to make mistakes and to get stuck.
你有权犯错误并陷入困境。
so, sometimes just saying, "oh, i'm totally stuck right now".
所以，有时它只是说，“哦，我现在完全被困住了。
and even asking for help is the best strategy ever, and also an opportunity to learn.
即使寻求帮助也是一个很好的策略和学习的机会。
so, don't make a big deal out of it, don't make it more than what it is, and just understand that it's a natural part of the learning process.
所以，不要太认真，不要太认真，只要明白这是学习过程中自然的一部分。
all right.
好吧。 so now i h**e a question for you.
现在，我有一个问题要问你。
what do you do when you get stuck?
当你被卡住时你会怎么做？
let us know in the comments and let's start a conversation and share our knowledge with everyone, with the entire community, because that's when the best ideas appear.
在评论中告诉我们，让我们开始对话并与每个人、整个社区分享我们的知识，因为那是最好的想法出现的时候。
all right.
好吧。 i hope you enjoyed it.
我希望你喜欢这个问题**。
if you did, consider subscribing to my channel and sharing it with people you think might need it.
如果您愿意，可以考虑订阅我的频道，并与您认为可能需要的人分享。
you can also check out my website at hadarshemesh. com where i h**e a ton of free resources for you to be able to speak english, practice english, and feel confident, clear and free when speaking.
你也可以访问我的 **hadarshemeshcom，有大量的免费资源供您练习英语，提高英语口语，并在说英语时感到自信、清晰和自由。
h**e a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day.
祝你今天安息快乐。
and i will see you next week in the next video.
我们下周见。
bye.再见。