hi, i'm vanessa from speakenglishwithvanessa. com.
嗨，我来自speakenglishwithvanessacom的Vanessa。
are you ready to h**e amazing english conversations?
你准备好用英语进行精彩的对话了吗？
yes, let's do it.
是的，让我们开始吧。
imagine this. you're at a party where you don't know anyone.
想象一下。 你在一个你不认识任何人的聚会上。
everyone's h**ing conversations in english, but you don't feel super comfortable speaking with just anyone in english yet.
每个人都在用英语交谈，但你不会觉得用英语与任何人交谈会很舒服。
someone walks up to you, smiles, introduces themselves, and start speaking with you in english.
有人走到你面前，微笑着介绍自己，然后开始用英语和你交谈。
they're friendly and seem genuinely interested in what you h**e to say.
他们很友好，似乎对你说的话真的很感兴趣。
and before you know it, you're h**ing a comfortable conversation in english.
在你意识到之前，你已经在用英语进行轻松愉快的对话了。
you may not be saying everything perfectly, but your new friend is encouraging you and you're saying things that you didn't even know that you knew how to say.
你可能没有把所有事情都说得很完美，但你的新朋友鼓励你说一些你自己都不知道怎么说的话。
you le**e the party feeling happy and confident and proud of yourself for h**ing such an amazing conversation.
你离开聚会时感到高兴、自信和自豪，因为你有这么好的谈话。
if you had not gone to that party, or if you had hidden in the bathroom, you would h**e missed out on such an amazing time.
如果你不去参加那个聚会，或者你躲在浴室里，你就会错过这么美好的时光。
there's a famous quote by maya angelou, and she says, "i've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." this is great news because you don't h**e to h**e perfect grammar, perfect vocabulary, perfect pronunciation when you speak.
玛雅·安吉洛（Maya Angelo）有句名言：“我知道人们会忘记你说过的话，忘记你做过的事，但他们永远不会忘记你给他们带来的感受。 “这是个好消息，因为当你说话时，你不需要有完美的语法、完美的词汇、完美的发音。
when you make other people feel good, you are automatically great at h**ing amazing conversations.
当你让别人感觉良好时，你自然会善于进行精彩的对话。
today, i'm going to teach you four tips and several phrases so that you can make other people feel awesome while you're speaking with them, which also grows your confidence in speaking in english.
今天，我将教你四个技巧和几个短语，这样你就可以在与别人交谈时让他们感觉很好，这也将增加你说英语的信心。
tip number one for amazing conversations is to compliment other people.
进行精彩对话的第一个技巧是赞美某人。
this doesn't mean that you tell everyone, "you're so beautiful. you're handsome. your hair is amazing. your eyes are great." no, this doesn't mean that you are complimenting their physical appearance.
这并不意味着你必须告诉所有人，“你太漂亮了。 你超级帅。 你的头发太漂亮了。 你的眼睛真棒。 “不，这并不意味着你在称赞他们的外表。
this means that you are showing genuine interest in what other people h**e to say.
这意味着你对别人所说的话表现出兴趣。
a way that you can show other people that you're interested in what they h**e to say, and you're saying, "yes, what you're saying is interesting. i want to hear more about that," is by using some positive interjections in conversations.
这是一种你可以向别人表明你对他们所说的话感兴趣的方式，你会说，“是的，你很有趣。 我想听更多。 这是关于在对话中使用一些积极的感叹词。
advanced english speakers use these all the time and you should too.
高级英语使用者一直在使用这些词，你也应该这样做。
i want to teach you some of these positive interjections that you can use that tell the other person, "hey, you're awesome. i want to hear more about what you h**e to say." i'm going to say each positive interjection two times.
我想教你一些积极的感叹词，你可以用它来告诉别人，“嘿，你真棒。 我想听听你怎么说。 “我要把每个积极的感叹词说两遍。
the first time i want you to listen, and the second time i want you to say it out loud.
第一次我要你听，第二次我要你大声说出来。
imagine that you're at that party, talking with someone else who you want to become friends with, who you're interested in, and you want to show them, i'm interested in you.
想象一下，你在那个聚会上，和一个你想成为朋友的人聊天，你对他感兴趣，你想向他们展示，我对你感兴趣。
how can you compliment them with your ears?
你怎么能用耳朵赞美他们呢？
listening to them with these interjections.
听听他们的感叹词。
let's give it a try.
让我们试一试。
wow, that's so cool.
哇，太酷了。
say it with me. wow, that's so cool.
和我一起说。 哇，太酷了。
that's great. that's great.
真棒。 真棒。
i love that. i love that.
我喜欢。 我喜欢。
no way, that's awesome.
不，那太好了。
no way, that's awesome.
不，那太好了。
oh my gosh, how fun is that?
天哪，这有多好玩？
oh my gosh, how fun is that?
天哪，这有多好玩？
oh, really? oh, really?
真的？ 真的？
for real, that's too funny.
说真的，这很有趣。
for real, that's too funny.
说真的，这很有趣。
can you get the sense from all of these positive interjections that you're **that other person feel like i'm saying something that that person really cares about.
你能从所有这些积极的感叹词中感觉到你让别人觉得我在说他真正关心的事情吗？
when they say, "for real, that's too funny." it shows you're listening.
当他们说，“说真的，这很有趣。 “这表明你在听。
it shows that you think they're funny and they're going to feel so good about themselves.
这表明你认为他们很有趣，他们会自我感觉良好。
you are complimenting what they're saying.
你是在称赞他们所说的话。
my second tip for h**ing amazing conversations is to h**e a mindset shift.
进行精彩对话的第二个秘诀是改变你的心态。
i want you to shift your mindset into thinking that every person you speak with has something interesting to say, and you can't wait to find out what that is.
我希望你改变你的心态，认为与你交谈的每个人都有一些有趣的话要说，你迫不及待地想知道那是什么。
be interested in other people.
对其他人感兴趣。
if you only speak about yourself, you're not a great conversationalist.
如果你只谈论你自己，你就不是一个健谈的人。
if someone says that their car broke down and you immediately say, "oh yeah, my car broke down last week too." how do you think that makes that other person feel?
如果有人说他们的车坏了，你会立即说，“哦，是的，我的车上周也坏了。 “你觉得对方会有什么感觉？
makes them feel like, did you even hear what i said?
这会让他们觉得，你听到我说的话了吗？
do you care about me, that my car broke down?
我的车坏了，你关心我吗？
so, take a step back and to be interested in their story, be interested in their life.
所以，退后一步，对他们的故事感兴趣，对他们的生活感兴趣。
h**e you ever been telling someone something that you are really excited about?
你有没有告诉别人你真正兴奋的事情？
maybe you said, "oh, i just interviewed for a new job last week at google." and then the other person says, "oh yeah, i thought about interviewing for there too." well, how does that make you feel?
也许你会说，“哦，我上周刚刚面试了谷歌的一份新工作。 然后另一个人说，“哦，是的，我也想去那里面试。 “这让你感觉如何？
kind of feels like they're not willing to share your excitement because they only want to talk about themselves.
感觉他们不愿意分享你的兴奋，因为他们只想谈论自己。
oh yeah. i interviewed there too." well, you don't want to be that kind of person.
是的，我也在那里面试过。 “你不想成为那种人。
you want to take interest in what other people h**e to say and think, well, other people h**e something that i am curious about and i can't wait to learn more.
你想对别人的言行和想法感兴趣，而其他人有一些我很好奇的东西，我迫不及待地想了解更多。
i'd like to give you some phrases that you can use to show that you're genuinely interested in what other people h**e to say.
我想给你一些短语，你可以用它来表明你真的对别人说的话感兴趣。
like before, i'm going to say them two times, first time you can listen, and the second time say it with me.
和以前一样，我会说两次，第一次你可以听，第二次和我一起。
speak out loud.
大声说出来。
how did that happen?
这是怎么发生的？
how did that happen?
这是怎么发生的？
what was that like?
工作怎么样？
what was that like?
工作怎么样？
what do you think will happen?
你认为会发生什么？
what do you think will happen?
你认为会发生什么？
what made you want to do that?
你为什么要这样做？
what made you want to do that?
你为什么要这样做？
h**e you always been interested in that?
你一直对此感兴趣吗？
h**e you always been interested in that?
你一直对此感兴趣吗？
great, these phrases show that you are genuinely interested in what the other person has to say.
好吧，这些短语表明你真的对别人要说的话感兴趣。
great. you're on your way to h**ing amazing conversations.
真棒。 你们正在进行一场精彩的对话。
tip number three for h**ing amazing conversations is to listen actively.
进行良好对话的第三个秘诀是积极倾听。
listen actively, but listening is usually a passive thing, you're just taking in input.
主动倾听，但倾听通常是被动的，你只是接受输入。
but really active listening means that you are either guessing the emotion of the other person or you're mirroring their words.
但真正积极的倾听意味着你要么在猜测对方的情绪，要么在模仿他们的话。
this is actually excellent for learning english because you're taking their words and you're kind of restating it so you might be growing some new vocabulary, growing some new grammar based on what the other person said.
这实际上对学习英语有好处，因为你在重复他们在说什么，所以你可能会添加一些新的词汇，添加一些新的语法，这是基于别人在说什么。
let me give you a couple of examples.
让我举几个例子。
if you work in customer service and someone calls your customer service line and says, "this product broke, i can't believe it." you might say, "oh, i'm sorry. you must be really frustrated." but they say, "no, i'm just disappointed because i thought that it would work." well. what word did they use that you didn't use?
如果你在客户服务部门工作，有人打电话给你的客户服务说：“这个产品坏了，我简直不敢相信。 你可能会说，“哦，对不起。 你一定很沮丧。 但他们说，“不，我只是很失望，因为我认为它会起作用。 “很好。 他们用了什么词，而你没有？
you said, "you must be frustrated," and they said, "no, i'm just disappointed." great chance for active listening.
你说，“你一定很沮丧。 他们说：“不，我只是失望。 “这是一个积极倾听的好机会。
you can say, "i'm sorry that you're so disappointed. let me do what i can to make it right." you're mirroring their word and it makes them feel heard.
你可以说，“对不起，让你失望了。 让我尽我所能弥补它。 “你在重复他们的话，这会让他们感到被倾听。
you're actively listening to the words that they're using and you're able to use it yourself to reflect their feelings.
你正在积极倾听他们要说的话，你自己可以用这些话来反映他们的感受。
this is a great type of listening and phrasing to use.
这是一个很好的听力和措辞练习。
when someone's telling you something that there's a lot of emotion behind, it could be positive emotion, it could be something they're worried or fearful about, this type of negative emotion.
当有人告诉你某件事背后有很多情绪时，它可以是积极的情绪，也可以是他们担心或害怕的事情，这种消极情绪。
here are some sample phrases that you can use so that you show that you're listening actively to someone else.
您可以使用以下一些示例短语，以便表明您正在积极倾听他人的意见。
that other person feels good that you really heard what they had to say.
对方很高兴你真的听到了他们要说的话。
you can say, "you must be feeling..." and then add some kind of emotion.
你可以说，“你必须感到.......”“然后添加某种情感。
you must be feeling really excited about that job interview.
你一定对这次采访感到兴奋。
you must be feeling really nervous to approach your boss.
和你亲近的老板一定很紧张。
you must be feeling really upset that that happened.
你一定很难过这种情况的发生。
oh, well maybe they didn't say specifically excited, worried, upset, but you are guessing their emotion.
哦，好吧，也许他们没有特别说兴奋、担心、沮丧，但你可以猜到他们的情绪。
maybe they'll correct you and say, "ah, actually i just feel hesitant. i feel really disappointed." okay. that's all right. you can mirror that back.
也许他们会纠正你说，“啊，实际上，我只是犹豫了。 我真的很失望。 “好的。 没关系。 你可以复述它。
yeah. that's so disappointing." but when you are trying to actively listen and pull out their emotion, excellent, you are a wonderful conversationalist.
哦，是的。 这太令人失望了。 “但是当你试着积极倾听并挖掘他们的情绪时，这很好，你是一个伟大的健谈者。
let me give you some phrases.
让我给你一些短语。
that must be really nerve-wracking.
那一定是令人伤脑筋的。
that must be really exciting.
那一定很令人兴奋。
that must be really awful.
那一定很糟糕。
that must be...
那一定是......can you practice that with me?
你能和我一起练习吗？
that must be really nerve-wracking.
那一定是令人伤脑筋的。
that must be really exciting.
那一定很令人兴奋。
that must be really awful.
那一定很糟糕。
and our final phrase for active listening is, that sounds really nerve-wracking.
关于积极倾听的最后一句话是，这听起来真的很伤脑筋。
that sounds really exciting.
听起来很令人兴奋。
that sounds really awful.
这听起来很可怕。
so, here you're trying to pull that emotion out of it and connect with the other person.
所以，在这里，你试图挖掘出这种情感并与另一个人建立联系。
can you say that with me?
你能和我谈谈吗？
that sounds really nerve-wracking.
这听起来很伤脑筋。
that sounds really exciting.
这听起来很令人兴奋。
oh, that sounds really awful.
哦，这听起来很可怕。
excellent work.
这是一个很好的观点。 and a little bonus tip, this works very well with children.
还有一个小技巧，对孩子很有效。
if you h**e young kids, i guess any kids, if you work with kids, you see kids, you know that kids exist.
如果你有年幼的孩子，任何一个孩子，如果你和一个孩子一起工作，你看到一个孩子，你就知道这个孩子存在。
i recommend this book, how to talk so kids will listen, how to listen so kids will talk.
我推荐这本书，“如何让孩子说话”，“如何倾听让孩子说话”。
they also h**e a teenage version as well, i think.
我认为他们也有青少年版本。
and it's a great way to be able to use active listening at an age-appropriate level so that your kids feel heard.
这是一种很好的方法，可以在适合年龄的水平上使用积极倾听，让您的孩子感到被倾听。
and also so that your kids hear you and hear you in the way that you want them to hear.
这样，您的孩子就可以按照您希望他们听到的方式听到您说的话。
great book, great recommendation.
很棒的书，强烈推荐。
okay. let's go to our fourth and final tip for amazing english conversations.
好吧。 让我们来看看第四个也是最后一个关于英语对话的建议。
tip number four for amazing conversations is body language.
进行精彩对话的第四个技巧是肢体语言。
you can h**e all the right words, all the right things to say, but if your body is like, well, you know what that tells the other person.
你可以说所有正确的话，但如果你的身体是这样的，你知道这告诉了另一个人什么吗？
i don't really care what you h**e to say.
我真的不在乎你要说什么。
yeah. i'm just kind of bored.
是的。 我只是有点无聊。
so instead as you are h**ing a conversation with someone else, i want you to remember nose.
所以当你和别人说话时，我希望你记住鼻子。
your nose? no. instead, this is an acronym, n-o-s-e.
你的鼻子？ 不，它是缩写 n-o-s-e。
we'll talk about it in just a second.
我们稍后再谈这个问题。
remember nose as you are speaking with someone else.
当你和别人说话时，记住鼻子。
n is nodding. nodding.
n 表示点头。 点头。
if you're speaking and someone just stands there and doesn't move, it seems a little robotic, a little bit like they're not listening or they don't care.
如果你在说话，有人只是站在那里不动，这看起来有点机械，有点像他们没有在听，或者他们不在乎。
makes you feel a little uncomfortable.
让你觉得有点不舒服。
so if you just nod while someone else is speaking, oh, it shows that you're listening.
因此，如果你在别人说话时点头，这表明你在听。
it doesn't mean you always agree with them, but it shows that you're listening.
这并不意味着你同意他们所说的话，但它表明你正在倾听。
you're nodding.
你在点头。 what about o?
o 是什么意思？
o is for open posture.
o 表示打开的姿势。
which one feels better to you?
你认为哪个更好？
me with my arms crossed maybe turned away from you or me with my arms down and just listening to you?
我交叉双臂，可能会转身离开你，还是我垂下双臂，只是听你说话？
when your body is open, you don't need to be very open or like this.
当你的身体是开放的，你不需要非常开放或像这样。
instead, just h**ing an open posture, your shoulders back, and you're facing someone.
相反，保持开放的姿势，肩膀向后，面向他人。
this shows that care and that you're listening.
这表明你关心和倾听。
the s of nose is smile.
鼻子的s是微笑。
did you know that our brains can tell if a smile is real or not?
你知道我们的大脑可以分辨微笑是真的还是假的吗？
when you smile like this?
当你这样微笑时？
yes, my mouth is **a smiling face, but it's not real.
是的，我的嘴在做笑脸，但事实并非如此。
and could you tell?
你能说出来吗？
could you tell that i wasn't really smiling?
你能看出我不是真的在笑吗？
i was just fake smiling.
我只是假装微笑。
well, the reason why we can tell is because my eyes are not doing anything.
我们之所以能分辨出区别，是因为我的眼睛什么也做不了。
a real smile goes all the way up to your eyes.
真正的微笑会一直延伸到你的眼睛。
if i smile like this, do you see how my eyes are crinkling a little bit, maybe even completely crinkling.
如果我这样笑，你看到我的眼睛有点皱纹，甚至完全皱纹了吗？
that means that it is a real smile, that we are really interested.
说明这是一个真正的微笑，我们真的很感兴趣。
so as someone is speaking, you can be completely, really interested in what they h**e to say.
因此，当有人说话时，您可以表明您对他们要说的话完全感兴趣。
not just, it feels like a robot, right?
而不是感觉像个机器人，对吧？
but when you're really interested in what someone has to say, oh, yeah, your eyes crinkle a little bit and you smile all the way up to your eyes.
但是当你真的对别人要说的话感兴趣时，哦，是的，你的眼睛会微微皱起，你的笑容会一直延伸到你的眼睛。
the final e of nose is eye contact.
鼻子的最后一个e是眼神交流。
in english, in the us it is common and important to maintain eye contact with someone when you're speaking.
在美国的英语中，与他人保持眼神交流是常见且重要的。
you don't need to stare at them the whole time and never look away.
你不需要一直盯着他们，永远不要把目光移开。
but if you **oid eye contact, as someone's speaking, it makes them feel like you don't want to be there, you don't want to talk with them.
但是，如果你在别人说话时避免眼神交流，这会让他们觉得你不想在那里，你不想和他们说话。
so instead, if you look them in the eyes and you smile and you nod and you h**e open posture, you are a welcoming and inviting person who anyone would want to speak with.
相反，如果你看着他们的眼睛，微笑，点头，保持开放的姿势，那么你就是一个温暖、有吸引力的人，任何人都愿意和你说话。
so maintain some eye contact.
所以要保持一些眼神交流。
maybe if that's tough for you, you can focus here or focus on one eye over the other.
如果这对你来说很难，你可以把注意力集中在这里，或者把注意力集中在一只眼睛上。
you don't need to stress yourself out too much, but h**ing that kind of nodding, genuine smile, open posture, and maintaining eye contact, that is a great way to h**e excellent conversations.
你不需要给自己太大的压力，但保持点头、真诚的微笑、开放的姿势和保持眼神交流是进行愉快交谈的好方法。
well, now, when you compliment others, h**ing mindset shift that other people h**e interesting things to say, and you listen actively and h**e great body language; well, congratulations, you h**e the power to h**e amazing conversations, great relationships, and confidence in yourself.
好吧，现在，当你赞美某人时，你的想法会改变，你认为某人有有趣的话要说，你积极倾听并有良好的肢体语言; 好吧，恭喜你，你有能力进行愉快的对话，建立良好的关系，并对自己充满信心。
pretty good for a free youtube video.
非常好的免费youtube**
don't forget to download the free pdf worksheet so that you can review all of these wonderful tips and so that you can be a great conversationalist.
别忘了** 免费的 pdf 工作表，这样您就可以查看所有这些很棒的提示，并且您可以成为一个好说话的人。
practice all of the phrases and integrate them into your conversations so that other people le**e those conversations feeling great and thinking, man, he's a great conversationalist.
练习所有的短语并将它们融入你的对话中，这样对方就会在结束这些对话时感觉很好，并认为他是一个很棒的谈话者。
wow, she is great at h**ing conversations, i can't wait to talk to her again.
哇，她很健谈，我迫不及待地想再次和她交谈。
you can do it.
你可以的。 make sure you download that pdf.
确保 PDF 清晰。
there's a link in the description.
描述中有一个链接。
and now i h**e a question for you.
现在我有一个问题要问你。
i'd like to give you a little scenario.
让我向你展示一个场景。
imagine that i told you, "i can't wait, i get to see my grandma next week for the first time in a year." what would you say to me?
想象一下，如果我告诉你，“我等不及了，下周我要见我的奶奶，这是我一年来第一次见到她。 “你想对我说什么？
can you use any of these phrases, maybe an active listening phrase, you must be feeling or one of the other phrases so that you can be a great conversationalist?
你能使用这些短语中的任何一个吗，也许是你一定感觉到的积极倾听短语，或者其他短语之一，这样你就可以成为一个伟大的对话者？
let me know in the comments how you would respond to me.
请在评论中告诉我您将如何回复我。
if i said, "i get to see my grandma next week after a full year of not seeing her." let me know in the comments what you would say, use what you've learned and i'll see you again next friday for a new lesson here on my youtube channel. bye.
如果我说，“我已经整整一年没见到奶奶了，下周我就要去看她了。 “请在评论中让我知道你会说什么，以及你所学到的东西，我们将在下周五在我的 YouTube 频道上见到你。 再见。
the next step is to download the free pdf worksheet for this lesson.
下一步是本课的免费 PDF 工作表。
with this free pdf, you will master today's lesson and never forget what you h**e learned.
有了这个免费的pdf，你将掌握今天的课程，永远不会忘记你所学到的东西。
you can be a confident english speaker.
你可以成为一个自信的英语使用者。
don't forget to subscribe to my youtube channel for a free english lesson every friday. bye.
别忘了订阅我的 youtube 频道，每周五免费上英语课。 再见。